Story of the first 2 months "At the hospital"
I had a very good 9 months, while pregnant with Yussuf. I mean, other than the normal stuff that happens during pregnancy (Vomiting, fatigue...), everything was going according to plan. Here is the due date that comes without Mr. Yussuf wanting to come out. So after 1 week of delay, my doctor said I need to be induced to stay in the safe side.

February 7th, 2006, I went to Scarborough General Hospital at 10am to be induced. All the check ups were OK. However nothing happened at all the whole day, no pain, and no sign of anything. Until suddenly, around 2.30 am, God said be and it was. I don't think I can go into details of what happened, as it is still painful to think about that night.

At 4am, February 8th, 2006, Yussuf was born with an emergency C-section. He was born practically dead, with no heartbeat and no respiration. He was right away transferred to sick kids Hospital where he stayed for almost 2 months. As for me, I almost died too from many health complications. They had to give me 6L of blood. God decided to give me another chance to live for me and for my son. I thank God for this new chance every day.

The hardest part for me during my 8 days stay in the hospital was the fact that I still didn't see my baby yet. I was unconscious when he was born and here we are after that, each one in a different hospital, each one trying to fight for our lives. Finally, on the 7-day, they allow me to go visit him quickly and come back. Even though he was sleeping when I got there and he was all wired up, I couldn't even see his face properly, believe it or not, he smiled at me. His father was there too to witness that smile.

Diagnosis

Doctors said that Yussuf suffered from a lack of oxygen during delivery that caused him a brain damage. They said he has cerebral palsy. His 1st hearing test failed (This was proved wrong afterwards, cause he can hear very well). He is visually impaired. Will never do this, Will never do that..........and the list goes on and on and on and with it our dreams of what our first baby will do when he grows up was going on the air too!

The shock was big, especially for my husband, who is still not recovered from it fully. As for me, thanks God, I knew this was a test from God and I was ready for this test. I knew this was going to be my road to heaven and I was happy that God choose me for this mission. I just started to count the good deeds I will earn Yussuf and me from all his handicaps, instead of counting how many things he will never be able to do.

The struggle in the hospital for Yussuf was to learn how to breathe on his own, learn how to take the bottle and suck from it, then keep the food in his stomach without reflex. Slowly, slowly, he become what I call "wireless" and I was able to hold my baby without any machine hooked on his body.

Before the big day that we were all waiting for to finally take Yussuf home for the first time, another shock was waiting for us. Yussuf was aspirating when fed and they had to stop all oral feeds and put a G-tube in his stomach. My dream of a wireless baby is gone on the air again! But thanks God we find out about that before we take him home, so that we can avoid even bigger problems, like pneumonia.

Anyways, March 20, 2006 was the big day where we finally were able to use his car seat and snowsuit for the first time and take our cute baby home. This was the end of the first episode. I cannot end this part without thanking all those dear people who helped me during this period by driving me back and forth day after day to the hospital. My husband was working every day and I was still sick myself to take any public transportation to down town to go see my baby. Thanks again to all my dear friends and May God bless you all.